Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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