I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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