So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She even gives head with a lisp.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
