Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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