tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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