think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
