is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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