I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
