it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
