I only kidnapped one of them. chill
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
