if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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