i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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