He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
