i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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