i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
