the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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