Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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