Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
third nipple confirmed
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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