k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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