stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
