So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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