It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
