the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Michael Bay diarrhea
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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