I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize