I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
is wine microwaveable?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
