Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
