YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
