how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
