all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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