Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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