I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
