I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
