You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
