There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
