Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize