My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
