it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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