We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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