this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize