He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Alive.
So much puke
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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