You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
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I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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