OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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