Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
