real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
