my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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