Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
