"it" just moved
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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