um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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