I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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