I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize