Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
