I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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