so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
