sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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