my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
