Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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